Dynastic love stories are not always written with happiness. The marriage between Queen Maria and King Ferdinand I of Romania was devoid of passion, built on political reasoning and obligations of blood. Their relationship was cold, formal, and more an alliance to serve the crown than their hearts. While Ferdinand remained all his life longing for his lost great love, Elena Văcărescu, Maria would find solace in the arms of another man, entirely unexpected: Prince Barbu Știrbey, Romania’s “White Prince.”

The beginning of a marriage of convenience

Ferdinand’s fate had already been sealed after his painful separation from Elena Văcărescu. Still wounded by the impossibility of that love, he submitted to duty, and his aunt, Queen Elisabeth, went abroad to find a bride of noble lineage. 

Thus, Maria Alexandra Victoria, a sixteen-year-old princess with British and Russian royal blood, accepted the engagement. Delicate, beautiful, and intelligent, she could not yet imagine the immense role she would play in Romania’s history.

Princess Mary, future queen of Romania

Ferdinand and Mary met in Potsdam, under the watchful eyes of the young princess’s family. Ferdinand was immediately captivated, convinced he had found the perfect match. The royal wedding took place at Sigmaringen in 1893, and soon after, Mary gave birth to her first child, the future Carol II.

Despite becoming a mother at just 18, Maria was energetic, lively, and eager for life. She organized balls and lavish soirées, bringing youthful vitality to the rigid Romanian court. 

Her beauty and charisma drew attention, but one evening would change her life forever: she would meet the man who would occupy her thoughts and heart until the end of her life, Barbu Alexandru Știrbey.

The meeting with Barbu Știrbey, the “White Prince”

The party hosted by Alexandru Marghiloman, Minister of Justice, was the starting point of a legendary romance. There, Maria first saw Barbu Știrbey, brother of Elisa Marghiloman, descendant of a distinguished boyar family and known in high society for his impeccable reputation. 

Their eyes met for a moment, igniting a flame that would prove impossible to extinguish. He was married and father to four children; she was a princess and future queen. Everything separated them, yet the heart knows no boundaries. 

Their relationship began to take shape in 1907, during the peasant uprising, when Maria took refuge in Sinaia and Barbu came to visit. From that moment, their love grew in intensity, partially hidden from the eyes of society.

Love and complicity at court

The clandestine affair soon became an open secret. Princess Maria frequently visited the Știrbei estate at Buftea, where Barbu created riding paths through the oak forests for her leisure. Historians and contemporaries noted the evident attraction between them.

Surprisingly, support came from King Carol I, who considered the relationship a necessary compromise for the stability of the crown. Ferdinand, aware of his wife’s infidelity, chose to tolerate it, even collaborating with Barbu Știrbey, recognizing his intelligence and political acumen.

Their passionate letters attest to the intensity of their love. Barbu often signed with the acronym ILYMM – I love you, my Mary, a private code of their devotion.

Rumors about their secret baby and silent jealousy

The birth of the royal family’s youngest child, Mircea, in 1912 raised questions. Rumors spread that Barbu Știrbei could be the boy’s biological father, due to their physical resemblance. 

Intimate relations between Ferdinand and Maria were rare, acknowledged even by historians. Though affected, Ferdinand never publicly contested the truth, choosing instead to maintain a delicate balance between duty and personal life.

It is also suggested that Princess Ileana may have been another child of the Queen and the White Prince. Anecdotes recount how Maria’s older daughter, Elisabeta, would call little Ileana to the window, saying, “Come quickly, to see your father!” upon Barbu Știrbey’s arrival.

Love in times of war

World War I drew the couple even closer. During those harsh years, Barbu Știrbey became a trusted advisor to the royal family, supporting Maria in her efforts to boost soldiers’ morale and encourage the nation. 

The death of young Mircea, struck by typhoid fever, strengthened their bond further; shared grief cemented their emotional connection.

After the war, Știrbey was appointed head of the Royal Household, though political tensions in Greater Romania forced him to step back temporarily. Nonetheless, their love never faded. For Maria, he remained the man who listened, understood, and provided what she never found in her official marriage.

The villa in Mamaia and exile

Barbu’s desire to be near Maria led him to build a villa in Mamaia, adjacent to her castle. Though they tried to remain discreet, their relationship was widely known in elite circles.

In 1930, conflict with King Carol II forced Știrbei into exile. He survived an assassination attempt aboard the Orient Express and reunited with Maria in Paris, continuing their love, fully aware that time was no longer on their side.

The end of a legendary affair

Queen Maria’s death in 1938 marked the end of their forbidden love. Barbu Știrbey remained devastated but confident that their souls would reunite beyond the constraints of life and history.

Returning to Romania after Carol II’s abdication, Barbu played an important political role. In 1944, King Michael I sent him to Moscow to sign the armistice with the Allies. Though later appointed prime minister, he never exercised the office, being replaced by the communists. He passed away on March 24, 1946, at the age of 73, carrying to his grave the secret of Queen Maria’s greatest love.

A lovestory that transcends time

The story of Queen Maria and Barbu Știrbey remains one of the most fascinating and controversial in Romanian history. It was not merely an affair but a profound connection, built on understanding, passion, and sacrifice. Together, they defied the rigid rules of their society, living a love that, though forbidden, enriched a queen’s life and shaped the destiny of a nation.

Through letters, whispered secrets, and the memories of those who knew them, their love endures as proof that great passions never die, even when history deems them “forbidden.”

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